By Kathy D., Silver Linings Foundation Volunteer
Holidays can often represent a minefield of eating disorder triggers. Invites for gatherings that involve food can be anxiety-producing. For me, a combination of being in recovery and having irritable syndrome can make the holidays an extra anxious time. If you are feeling anxiety about upcoming events, here are some gifts to consider giving yourself:
Give yourself permission to take a break: It’s okay to find your own space in a quiet area, if you begin to feel overwhelmed at a holiday gathering. If thoughts and feelings overwhelm you, slip into the bathroom and splash cold water on your face as a kind of reset.
Honour your energy. Give yourself a permission slip to assess how you’re feeling about a holiday invite. Empower yourself to say “no” if it doesn’t feel right or you’re not feeling up to it.
Give yourself your own trust. It is helpful for me to recognize when my ED lies to me. Recently, when anxiety started to creep in about attending a family gathering, I whispered “I’ve got this” to myself- even though I felt the opposite! Despite having anxiety about it all, the truth is, I know what to eat to keep my IBS under control and I also know it’s okay to eat for enjoyment and not just for fuel.
Create a list of mantras for when you feel uncertain. Examples include: “We can do hard things”, ”I’m doing my best”, or “What would someone who loves themselves do?”.
Utilise your body and breath. use yoga poses to calm the nerves such as child’s pose, or forward fold. Try alternate nostril breathing for anxiety- follow this video to learn how!
Thought control — I learned recently, thanks to the Body Image Support Group offered by Silver Linings Foundation, to think (and do) the opposite of what the ED thoughts are telling me. For example, the ED tells me I must be rigid with my eating and that my plate of food must be portioned a certain way. I practise overcoming this rigidity by deliberately not following these rules.
Be present and mindful of what is around you. Have a go at the “five things” rule: Five things you can see, five things you can touch, five things you can hear, five you can smell — like all the yummy holiday baking - and even five things you can taste. This is a grounding technique I’ve learned recently.
Positive reinforcement: I saw this on a mirror in a lingerie store recently. I may write it out and put it on every mirror I own:
Mirror, Mirror on the wall…
It does not matter if I’m short or tall…
If I have skinny legs or my hips are wide…
It only matters who I am inside…
Blue eyes, brown eyes, black or green…
What makes me most beautiful cannot be seen…
When you look at me, don’t judge me by my parts…
The most beautiful thing about me is my heart.
It’s my wish and hope that these gifts and tips may help us all thoroughly enjoy the upcoming holiday season.