Anyone who has been through eating disorder recovery knows it can sometimes be a lonely journey. The obstacles experienced in recovery can be difficult to explain to others, more difficult yet for well-meaning supporters to understand.
Sometimes all we need is for someone to truly get it. The Silver Linings Peer Support Program was specifically created to provide this kind of empathy and understanding.
Approaching its second year of running, our Peer Support Program has matched over 45 individuals with peer mentors. All of our mentors deeply understand the highs and lows of eating disorder recovery because they have all walked the path of recovery themselves. Our mentors are carefully screened for program eligibility and receive clinically supervised training. Working with a mentor is completely free of change and designed to be flexible in order to meet specific needs and schedules.
What is it like to be supported by a peer mentor? SLF chatted with a mentee in the program (M.) to get a first-hand account.
SLF: A common question we receive is “how does the program work?”. Let’s start with the intake process. What were the steps you took to be matched with your mentor?
M.: Great question. I will be honest in that my memory of this period of my life is a little bit foggy, thanks to my eating disorder. However, I do know that it was extremely easy. I signed up to be matched and then I had an intake call with Sophie. She asked me some questions about my background and where I was at. Then I was notified that I was matched with my peer mentor. My mentor and I had an introductory call shortly after. It was all super simple and straightforward.
SLF: Did you have any initial concerns or resistance towards peer support?
M: At the time I was just so desperate to surround myself with every resource possible in order to give recovery a strong go. I didn't want to let any concerns or resistance get in the way. That resistance would have been my eating disorder talking. My only initial questions had to do with things like, “Who am I going to be matched with? Have they been in recovery for a long time? Are they really going to understand where I'm at or what I've been through?”. I wanted to be matched with a mentor who was a suitable fit for me and my journey.
SLF: Explain what working with your peer mentor is like: Who is your mentor? How often do you meet? What does peer support look like in action?
M.: I was matched with a brilliant mentor and she has maintained recovery for decades now. That has been so inspiring to me because, not only does she understand what it’s like to go through recovery, but she has the tools to be able to navigate real life after recovery. We meet either once a week or once every other week. We'll have a call and talk about what has come up. We don't really have formal agendas or any particular goals for our meetings. We talk through anything that's been coming up for me. I can ask her about her experiences. We celebrate wins. I can also tell her about things I’m struggling with, or embarrassed about, and express ugly, dark thoughts I think nobody else experiences. Sometimes I'll send her a question, or she'll send me an article or a meme or something that strikes a chord. There's a connection in between our meetings and it’s such a nice foundation to rely on.
SLF: You’ve been working with your peer mentor for well over a year now! What are some particular challenges your peer mentor has supported you in along the way?
M.: She's been there through the absolute thick of it. At the beginning, it was very basic things like struggling with my meal plan or exercise changes. She listened to all my ugly thoughts about myself without judgement. She gave me a safe space, kept my head in the game, and, most importantly, showed me that what I was aiming for was possible. As time went on, the conversation changed from “How do I get through this day?” or “Will I ever be able to tolerate my body?” to questions like “What does it mean to be recovered?” and “How do I navigate the “normal” things that happen in life now that I feel stronger in some of my recovery experiences?”.One of the first conversations we had was discussing how we will know when I am in strong recovery and ready to be done with mentorship. I couldn't even imagine it back then. But deep down, I knew it would be when we stopped talking about recovery and started talking about boy problems and life problems. And here we are over a year later. While I still do talk to her about recovery things, “normal” life updates (friends, career and relationships) are starting to play a more substantial role in our conversations. It shows me how far I've come and how much she has supported me.
SLF: In your experience, does working with a peer mentor differ compared to traditional treatment from, say, a therapist or support group?
M.: Yes! Working with a mentor is a completely different experience. In early recovery, I always wondered why we don't have role models for our mental health. Why don't we have role models in recovery? I've come to understand that there just aren't very many people who are willing to be open with their stories and struggles. There's a degree of bravery and strength that mentors represent that we don't always see in other sources of treatment. Support groups are wonderful to commiserate about the ongoing experience of an eating disorder; However at some point, we need to move past being stuck in that. Therapists are the core of your recovery team but there is something so valuable in talking to someone with lived experience. It is so helpful to be able to ask a mentor how they got through the sticky stuff and stayed unstuck. To me, a mentor is a role model. They can be a valuable part of the recovery ecosystem that you build around yourself.
SLF: What would you say to someone who is hesitant about trying peer support?
M.: I want to start off by saying that I get it. Anything that you do that is pro recovery is going to make you feel hesitant. But remember, it's not you that's hesitant. It's your eating disorder. Please know that the entire process of being matched with a mentor feels so safe. From the minute that you sign up, to talking with Sophie, to being matched with your mentor, it all feels safe. I know how scary recovery is and daunting it can be to open up to someone about it. But having every support that you can at your disposal is so powerful. Working with a mentor is like adding extra fuel to the recovery fire. Maybe you're doing group therapy and seeing a therapist or dietician… Peer support is extra gasoline on the fire to ignite sustained recovery and accelerate it in a way you didn't know was possible.
Interested in being connected with your own peer mentor? SLF is accepting new mentees at this time! Click here for the next steps in being matched: https://www.silverliningsfoundation.ca/peer-mentorship